Forever
by Blue Burns Orange
Summary: A oneshot about Hermione. Hermione has had enough of Draco being mean to her so she goes to sleep forever. Warning: Suicide and course language.


**A/N **This is a one shot my sis helped me write about 3 years ago. So half the credit for this story goes to her. WARNING: There is a couple of swear words and suicide.

**_Forever_**

The early morning sunlight drizzled through the slightly parted curtains that created an artificial night and guarded my room from the day. Outside my window I could hear the birds chirping, signally their victory at having survived the night to live another day. The darkness of my room made me feel secure. For the time that I had been asleep was like my own little sanctuary, away from it all - the world, its people and myself. The people around me gave me shit, but I could only blame myself for letting it all get to me. I savoured the last few moments before draco came barging into my room, telling me to get my lazy arse out of bed. That was one of the things that always got to me - being told that I was lazy. I did everything my friends asked. One of the worst feelings is being unappreciated. Feeling like your running around after people that don't even care that you exist.

I decided to get out of bed before draco came in. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of calling me lazy. I climbed out from under my quilts that guarded to my sanctuary. Through the bottomless pit of my closet, I managed to find my school uniform. Ironing out the wrinkles of my skirt with my hand, I walked out of my room into the broad daylight streaming in through the windows. Nobody seemed to be insight. Draco was down at breakfast I guess.

I didn't usually eat breakfast. I wasn't hungry after sleeping for eight hours. I walked out the door of the common room. The only sounds were other students. I walked slowly and silently. My head was down until I reached the doors of hell. Class. Behind the buildings dark grey clouds come rolling in, making the school look like something out of a horror book. Wicked was the only word I could think of to describe the scene.

The moment I walk in those doors I knew I wouldn't be able to escape till the bell rang again. Half the time I don't even know why I go to school. It's the same every day. I sat at the back of my first class. I hoped that the teacher couldn't see me and make this day any worse than it already was. But I must have got her attention. Before I knew it everyone in the class had turned and was looking at me. Whenever the teacher started picking on me all I could ever do was sit there and take it. I would get in trouble if I opened my mouth to defend myself. I sat in the silent classroom and took in all the harsh comments about being stupid, worthless and that I didn't deserve to be around smart people.

All my classes seemed to be like that. Recesses were no better. I sat, with only my own company for lunch. I watched people walking past, sneaking whispers to their friends beside them. I sat there wondering what was it about me that turned everyone away. I had looks to be neither taunted, nor envious of. Given the chance to speak, I always polite. My marks in schoolwork were a little higher then everybody else, yet even the geniuses denied me the chance to be friends with them. I watched everybody as they walked past and looked at me like I was a disease. I didn't even have a chance to blink before I felt something hit me in the back. It felt like blades stabbing into me. I turned to see a few guys from my last class pegging large rocks at me. I couldn't take it any more. I jumped up, leaving my half-eaten lunch to fall to the ground as I ran across the grounds that were guarded by the buildings.

The school had become out of view before I stopped running. The dark clouds now covered the entire sky. I could feel light drops of rain falling faintly. The tears welling up in my eyes clouded my sight. Why did they hate me so much? I wiped away the salty tears with my sleeve as I walked in the front gate. Draco would be back at the common room. I can't go inside. He'd yell and scream at me. I stood in the middle of the hallway leading to the common room for a moment as my mind raced with places to hide. I dodged behind one of the statues, sat down and put my head on my knees.

I don't want to be here anymore I thought to myself. I'm sick of life. I'm not noticed so I won't be missed. Suddenly tears come streaming down my face again. Thoughts raced through my mind. How could I end it all? Poison? Over dose on painkillers? Then the idea came to me. I gently lifted my head from my knees and gave a smile to the world.

I walked in the door. I dropped my bag and removed my shoes and kept walking towards my room. I could feel the excitement run through my body. I felt like running and jumping, doing cartwheels even. But I had to keep my excitement contained. "Keep it contained" I thought. "Just like every other emotion I felt that nobody would care about if I expressed". But this time I didn't care. It wouldn't be for me to worry about whether or not anyone cared about my feelings, because soon it would all be over.

Draco walked out of his room, looking me up and down. I looked up at him, and then back down to the ground before he could see my tear stained cheeks. He said nothing as I kept walking towards my room. I walked in and shut my door behind me. "Nothing can stop me now", I thought. I walked into my bathroom. I stood looking in the mirror for a few seconds. This is it. In a few seconds it will all be over. I pushed back the hair sticking to my forehead. I looked straight into my own eyes trying to see my soul. "It's no good looking now. No one over looked before so why start looking now!" Slowly I moved my hand to open the drawer. Starring back at me was a blade. Perfect. Carefully I picked up the blade between my thumb and index finger. I couldn't stop now. I wanted my mental pain to be physical. I held out my left wrist and studied it for a few seconds. Then I looked back at myself in the mirror. In front I could see myself, one arm held out, the other handing holding the blade. Silent tears began to roll down my face as I placed the blade to the skin. Three seconds later it was over. The blood began trickling down my arm. I started to feel nauseous and every now and then everything would go black. Then everything was black and it was all gone. It felt like being in my sanctuary again. I was once again away from it all. The world, its people, and myself. Only this time, it was forever.


End file.
